[ He gave a soft snort, then reached for the bottle. ]

Not even a little.

It was Talissa's father's company. She wanted me on the ground, wanted me to be there for Melas. [ And for her, while she was pregnant again, but when his mind got to that part of the memory it make his heart stagger and stutter and he didn't voice it. He ploughed on, instead. ]

I tried my best. I really did. But every day my best was less and less. It was hell, Gunny, I ain't gonna lie. I wouldn't wish a desk job on anyone.