donkeyballs | Reverie: IC Inbox

Well, I don't know. Things got a little crazy after that, so it could have been a lot of things. But still - -

I think it was Prax. Or I guess - or I guess Mei, maybe. Amos gave me shit about not bein' there for Mel-- for my family. Maybe Prax tryin' to find Mei meant somethin' to him.

[ He felt suddenly very uncomfortable in his own skin, the same way he always did when anything made him think about his family and the choices he'd made, when it came to them. Like he just wanted to squirm right into the floor and escape.

Hah. Escape.

God damn but he couldn't stand himself sometimes. He cleared his throat. ]

Anyway, whether it was Prax or not, who knows. But I think it was. He's a good man, and Amos takes to good people. Like Naomi and Holden.

Edited 2018-06-08 01:37 (UTC)

[Bobbie just listens, absorbing that. She's not entirely sure what to say about his family. Really, she's not sure she knows the whole story, but first, she needs to correct something—]

And you. He's taken to you, too.

[Anyway.]

Saving a kid from something like that would mean something to anyone, yeah?

[ He doesn't say anything to the correction. He wants to be a good man. He's trying to be a good man. But he didn't even try to save anyone on Eros and his family still think he died a hero.

Or they did. They did think he died a hero. He wished he knew exactly what had been said, when they found out he didn't. But he also didn't want to know at all.

He pushed the thought away hard, and focused on the second question, nodding. ]

Yeah. I mean, you'd think so. But there were kids on Eros same as there were on Ganymede, so I have no idea if that means that anyone really gives a shit anymore.

[ He was getting dark again, and he could feel it. The annoyance may be mostly gone, but everything else was still hanging heavy over him. ]

Edited 2018-06-08 01:47 (UTC)

[Bobbie's mouth twists as she tries to work it out, tries to figure out what Amos could be thinking. She doesn't know him well enough to say for certain.]

If you're wondering if the people who are working on the protomolecule give a shit, they don't.

[Her team is proof of that, just like Eros and the kids.]

You were trapped on Eros with thousands of other people, right? It would have been... harder for him to do anything. Mei is one girl, and you know where she is. Or maybe it is just something about Prax.

I know they don't. They give even less of a shit than you'd think. They've gotten something messed up in their heads - takes away any damn sense of empathy. Amos and Holden told me about it - somethin' about god damn magnets.

[ It's not the point. ]

He didn't want to do anythin'. Crew came first, he said. And when we were on Tycho, and there were all those refugees, and they needed help, he was just - hell, I don't even know. Whoring and fighting, are my best bet. Caught him with a bloodied lip, at one point.

Tried to get him to help out, but-- [ But he threw his family in his face and then nearly threw him down a stair case. Alex sighed. ]

... Doesn't matter. My point is, he changed after that. For the better. And I'm pretty sure it's Prax that did it.

[That's a hell of a lot to take in, and she decides to label it "a shitshow" and sort through it later.]

Maybe he did. Have you ever just... clicked with someone?

[ His eyes slid away, a frown on his face. Sure. He'd 'clicked' with people before. He'd clicked with Talissa - or at least he thought he'd had. Time had proven him wrong on that one.

Then he'd spent years on an ice hauler where everyone did their damn level best at not clicking with anyone.

Then the shitshow happened, he'd gained a family somehow, ended up here - and met Bobbie.

But something in his gut stopped him from saying 'you'. So instead he just found his eyes focusing on some scuff in the wall across the room.]

... Yeah. I have. So I get your point.

I'm just - glad he found him, I guess.

Yeah. Sounds like Prax has been good for him.

[And she's glad Amos has someone like that. There's a part of her that feels that way about Alex, but she shoves it aside. It's not the point, and she feels odd thinking it, let alone saying it.]

Does it... bug you? Everything else you were talking about, like the way he was acting on Tycho.

[ He let out a breath. ]

Yeah, it bugs me. But it ain't the same now. Back then I thought he didn't give a damn about anyone.

[ His eyes lowered. ]

And I told him that, too.

But I was wrong.

[Bobbie reaches out to squeeze his shoulder.]

I can't speak for everyone, but I don't think you're a fragile flower. And if I had to guess, I'd say they don't, either.

[ Hey swayed a little with it, not sure what to say. He was glad she didn't, but he really wasn't so sure about the rest of them, and he was still a little hyped up on adrenaline from the fight and a fresh coat of guilt and self loathing.

After a minute, though, he just nodded.]

... Thanks, Gunny.

[ There was nothing else to say. ]

Edited (wrong icon) 2018-06-08 02:56 (UTC)

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