Reverie: IC Inbox

[donkeyballs]

 

IC INBOX
text // voice // video


Alright, go ahead and leave me a message, an' I'll get back to you soon as I can.

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[marineris]

[Yeah, that's true. Bobbie's not sure sitting in a bar getting smashed is going to do much for his mood, so she swipes the bottle.]

Come on. Let's go to the observation deck.

[Might as well get wasted with a view.]

[donkeyballs]

[ He looks up at her, a little helplessly, and lets out a sigh. He finished off the last drop in his glass, wiped his mouth with the back of his sleeve, and set down the glass on the bar as he stood up.

They could just take swigs from the bottle, then he wouldn't have to worry about bringing the glass back. ]

Yeah. Alright.

[marineris]

[Bobbie does just that—takes a swig from the bottle, puts a hand on his elbow to steady him, and then sets off.]

Let me know if you need me to carry you.

[She's joking. Mostly.]

i realised we could just use this thread since that's what they're doing anyway

[donkeyballs]

I'm alright, I'm good.

[ He is wobbling, though. He didn't realise just how out of it he was until they started walking and he couldn't keep a straight line, so he leaned a little more into her hand than he would have otherwise.

Luckily, though, they somehow manage to make it to the observation deck without issue, and he flopped down on the floor in front of the window, leaning back on his hands to look at the stars. ]

There is one thing, though. If it really is - if it really is almost 2700... Mars might have a sky.

yesss

[marineris]

[Bobbie settles down beside him, crossing her legs and staring out toward the planet, but she glances over sharply at that suggestion. She hasn't even had time to consider that, and she lets out a breath.]

...What do you think it's like?

[donkeyballs]

[ He thought about it, then just kind of shook his head wistfully. ]

Honestly, you'd know better than me, Gunny. I ain't ever seen one.

You said you were on Earth, right? What was that like?

[marineris]

Beautiful. Overwhelming. I could barely keep my balance at first, but the ocean was... There's nothing I can compare it to.

[donkeyballs]

[ He stares out at the planet in front of them, slowly moving across the view as the station spins away. ]

Even from orbit they barely look real.

... But damn. Mars might even have some. Air. Oceans. Grass, trees...

[ There was a longer pause, and he swallowed. ]

I ever tell you that I worked with one of the terraformin' companies, on Mars? Back after I retired from the Navy.

[marineris]

[Her gaze is still locked on him as she shakes her head.]

No. Doesn't really fit you.

[donkeyballs]

[ He gave a soft snort, then reached for the bottle. ]

Not even a little.

It was Talissa's father's company. She wanted me on the ground, wanted me to be there for Melas. [ And for her, while she was pregnant again, but when his mind got to that part of the memory it make his heart stagger and stutter and he didn't voice it. He ploughed on, instead. ]

I tried my best. I really did. But every day my best was less and less. It was hell, Gunny, I ain't gonna lie. I wouldn't wish a desk job on anyone.

[marineris]

[She lets out a breath. She can see why Talissa wanted him around, but Christ, a desk job would make her want to claw her eyes out.]

I get why you left. I probably would have, too.

[donkeyballs]

That ain't- that ain't why I left.

[ It came out a little fast, and he took another swig of the bottle. ]

... At least not all of it. I could have stuck it out, if anythin' else was workin'. But I was just - Christ, Gunny, I wasn't good at any of it.

[marineris]

Good at what?

[She's not sure if he means his job or being a father or husband, or maybe all of it.]

[donkeyballs]

Anythin'. Bein' a father, bein' a husband - the only thing I've ever been half way decent at was flyin.

[ He took another drink - more than he should have - and swayed a little bit. ]

It wasn't an option. Flyin'. Even after - after everythin' - when I said I needed to fly, she-- [ He cut off, miserably. ] I needed to be there, but even when I was there, I wasn't good enough. Never was.

[marineris]

[Bobbie's mouth twists at that. She hates when he talks like this, like he's worthless.]

Did she tell you that? That you weren't good enough?

[donkeyballs]

No.

[ It was the truth, she never said "you aren't good enough". She'd said a lot of other things, but. He swallowed, looking a little green, then quietly, almost to himself: ]

She said there was no point, if I was goin' to keep flying. To us bein' married at all. And she - hell, Gunny, she was right. What the hell use was I, all the way out there. But it was still the only thing I was ever good at.

[marineris]

[Bobbie stares at him for a second, utterly taken aback.]

She said there was no point?

[donkeyballs]

[ A heavy guilt settled over him, shoulders lowering. ]

She wanted a big family, Gunny. A good Martian family. And I - God, I tried, we both did, but it just didn't--

[ He swallowed, trying to push the memory away, and his voice got quieter. ]

It's my fault. I'm pretty sure. But it just - I didn't even think I wanted it, and I couldn't just- to go through that and not even know if you wanted it anyway... [ He was drunk. He was very drunk. He was being vague, but he shouldn't have been talking about this at all. ]

[marineris]

Why did you marry her, then? Did you love her?

[It's a pretty blunt question, but she's trying to wrap her head around this whole situation. ]

[donkeyballs]

[ It's a very, very blunt question, and he looks miserable. ]

You sound like my sister. [ He mumbles it as he takes another drink straight from the bottle.


...


That wasn't an answer, Alex... ]

[marineris]

[She stares at him, waiting, and when he doesn't continue she shakes her head.]

Are you going to answer me?

[donkeyballs]

What'd'you want me to say, Gunny? [ He looks down into his bottle. ]

She's probably dead. They're both probably dead. I ain't gonna claim it was like - a great romantic movie, or anything, but I did love her. [ He didn't sound as sure as he should have, mostly because he couldn't get his sister's voice out of his head. He didn't even really realise that he put it in the past tense. ]

An' it made sense. My folks were damn happy. When it was workin', anyway.

[ His face fell. ]

Just glad my dad never got to see when it - least he didn't have to see that.

[marineris]

[Her mouth twists, and she certainly catches the past tense, but she doesn't argue it, even though she's starting to think maybe his pining for her is more out of guilt than anything else.]

You're not a failure, Alex. Maybe you weren't cut out to be a perfect husband planetside, but you impress the hell out of me.

[donkeyballs]

[ He could feel the heat behind his eyes, a feeling that he couldn't quite pin point filling him up from the chest outward. Touched, maybe. Just incredibly touched, that she would say that, and believe it.

He had to swallow, so that it didn't break in his voice when he spoke. ]

Thanks, Gunny.

[ He swallowed again, blinking a little too much. Come on, Kamal. Keep it together. He pulled in a long breath, went to take another drink, but paused - watching the curve of the planet disappear around the other side of the station, and the sky fill with nothing but velvet black pinpointed with stars. ]

... I know I shouldn't wish this place on anyone, [ He started carefully, his voice quiet, ] But I'm damn glad you're here, Gunny. I don't think I'd be able to handle this place without you.

[marineris]

[It makes something in Bobbie's chest twist, overwhelmingly fond, and she smiles at him. She reaches for the bottle, fingers brushing against his.]

I think you're tougher than you give yourself credit for, but I'm glad I make it a little easier. You make it easier on me, too.