donkeyballs | Reverie: IC Inbox

[The answer is yes. Or at least, she would have wanted to kiss him. It's like a switch has been flipped now, but that line of questioning doesn't matter at all if he's still hung up on his wife. Ex-wife. Whatever Talissa is now.]

So you've been... what? Just hiding this?

[ His eyes slid away, shame growing in his expression. ]

What the hell was I supposed to say, Gunny?

I don't even know what to say now. You don't need any of this, and I know it. I just - gotta get past it, then you don't gotta worry about it.

I'm not blaming you, just... trying to figure this out.

[She lets out a breath, scrubbing her free hand over her face. She's fully aware that she's still got her hand in his, but she can't bring herself to pull it away. Maybe he's thinking of this as a huge mistake, though. It seems like it, with that last statement.]

[ He let out a breath, shoulders slumping, and he let the silence stretch a little too long, as he looked back at their hands. ]

I don't know, Gunny. [ He said finally. Quietly. Miserably. ] I know I should feel a hell of a lot guiltier than I am. But I never--

[ He cut off, closing his eyes, letting out a hard breath. Then he squeezed his hand. ]

Maybe we should... talk about this after either one of us had had even an hour's sleep over three days. Because I know there were a whole host of reasons I told myself not to, and I'm having a hard time thinkin' of any of them.

[It's the logical thing to do, she knows, but it still leaves her feeling all tangled up and miserable on top of the exhaustion. If he can't remember a good reason, maybe that means he doesn't have feelings for Talissa. Maybe it's all just guilt. Or maybe she's scrambling for a way to make this okay.

After a second or so of silently wrestling with herself, she pulls her hand away and leans forward to hug him out of a desperate need to make sure they're still alright.]

Okay. We'll talk about it later.

[ The hand pulls away and he almost immediately goes to grab it back - a desperate panic rising in him - but she hugs him instead and it's quelled. He returns it, instantly, maybe a little too hard. Even after everything, the proximity does something weird to him, and he forces himself to take a deep breath. ]

[Bobbie ignores the way her heart flutters and exhales slowly, relaxing against him. It's okay. They're fine.]

You're my best friend, too. And still the best pilot in any damn system.

[ It takes everything in him to bite down on his tongue and keep himself from saying something damning. Christ, but he really was a frayed wire, raw and open and far too prone to say something far too much. He manages to grind out a low few words. ]

Thanks, Gunny.

[ He knows he needs to let go of the hug, too. Tells himself that, five times over in his head.

Still hasn't done it. ]

[Pulling back is the logical thing to do, and she knows it, but she doesn't. She's exhausted and anxious and that fucking music is still making her head pound, and she has the disquieting feeling that something has changed irrevocably between them. What if she's fucked this up beyond repair?]

We're okay, yeah?

[It comes out soft and hesitant, and she's not sure why she asks. He's going to say yes even if they're not, but she wants to hear it anyway.]

[ He didn't know. He fucked up somewhere, probably multiple times, and now she's going to second guess every time he does anything. His motivations are all shot, and no matter what he does it's going to read like there's an ulterior motive.

All the ease that he'd felt before, with her? He'd killed it.

And he could have kept it, if he'd just managed not to be a god damn idiot when he saw Kovacs.

Fucking damn it. ]

Yeah. We're okay.

[ More because he wanted them to be, than because he believed it. ]

Reverie: IC Inbox

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