donkeyballs | Reverie: IC Inbox

[ It might have sounded like a crazy conspiracy, to someone else. To someone who hadn't lived through the protomolecule.

To someone who hadn't heard Bobbie's story, of Mars setting her up for a weapons test. Of letting her whole squad get killed for a demo.

So there's no disbelief in his face, just deep, painful recognition. ]

Frank.... [ His voice trails off. What the hell do you say, after something like that? There's nothing he could possibly offer that wouldn't sound cheap. He swallowed, and then reached out, carefully putting his hand on the man's arm - no squeeze, just letting it rest there, solid. ]

Frank, I'm so sorry.

[ the understanding in alex's voice squirms its way under his skin and he realizes... he's not about to lose his friend. something like relief comes over him then, remembering what it was like seeing matt bleeding out in the hall short hours ago. thinking saving him would end his own life onboard, but that didn't matter. not when he probably owes daredevil so much more than matt even realizes. ]

If this whole story becomes common knowledge like it is back home... you don't have to defend me. In fact, don't even get involved. It's- well, everyone's got their own goddamn opinion about what I did there. About what kind of man I am. Everything from my face on t-shirts to people who'd burn down my house if I didn't already myself.

Honestly, Frank, I...

[ He let out a long, slow breath, trying to collect his thoughts. ]

Back home should be left back home. It don't help anyone to pull up our pasts, out here. We all got 'em. I ain't - I ain't comparin', but - -

I just think we should be focusin' on what we're doin'.

Not on whatever blood is on each other's hands.

[ He didn't even know how much blood was on Amos' hands. Didn't want to know. ]

It ain't like you did it for the thrill, right? You ain't about to hurt anyone here. [ He sounded confident, but he also wouldn't mind confirmation on that point. ]

That's why I didn't tell you. It's not because I don't trust you.

[ but he nods, agreeing they need to focus. he hadn't judged alex for leaving his family so he's not wholly wrong to compare either. ]

I've always had... a darkness inside me. Violence. I can't lie to you and say it was only about justice, I enjoyed it, seeing each and every one of those shitbags die.

But even before that, before my family? I wanted to hurt people. I was an angry kid with nowhere to put it, so I joined up. I trusted them to aim me in the right direction. And that was only my first mistake.

[ frank takes a deep breath and pushes it back out. ]

I'd never hurt you, or anyone here. I just want to get everybody home.

[ with that said... "I point, you shoot." ] I'd trust you to aim me. If it came to that. [ he's hoping it won't, but he needed to put it out there. he's a living weapon, not just a guy with a dad complex. alex should remember that if he ever needs real help. ]

[ It wasn't his family, he was thinking of. It as Eros. It was Thoth.

Maybe he'd tell those stories one day, but not today. Today was for listening.

And feeling very, very uncomfortable. He didn't like hearing it. Of course he didn't. But at the last... ]

Brother, I don't trust myself to make that call, if it came to it. I'm a pilot, not a Captain. Every time I've fired our guns, it was on orders. I don't think I could make that kinda call.

But I'll - I'll help. We'll figure it out. Get everyone home, and - and make sure no one gets hurt.

[ frank slides his fist across the table. bro bump?? ]

Okay, deal. We take everything on together, from now on. [ "I don't do partners." ]

[ He reached out, but instead of giving Frank a fist bump, he put his hand over the other man's fist and gave it a squeeze. ]

Deal.

Reverie: IC Inbox

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do they even have fistbumps in the expanse