donkeyballs | Reverie: IC Inbox

[God, Alex. This must be bad.]

be there soon.

["Soon" turns out to be relative. It takes Bobbie about twenty minutes to show up, but when he answers the door, the reason should be obvious. She's got a plate of food in one hand. Lasagna, it looks like.]

Hey. I figured you didn't eat.

[ Alex has, in fact, been spending the few hours since his chat with Naomi in his old room, scrubbing the floor and stripping the sheets and generally cleaning it down spotless until you can no longer tell anything even happened in there.

He's got his jumpsuit sleeves rolled all the way up past his elbows, and his sheets are out hanging to dry on a line he's somehow managed to set up, while he scrubs at the floor on his knees. He gets up to answer the door, but even after throwing himself into cleaning he still looks mad.

Mad, and hurt. ]

I ain't hungry.

[ But he'll step out of the door to let her in. ]

[Bobbie steps inside and sets the plate down on the little table, trying not to frown as she studies the room. It's been obvious since the beginning that something is very, very wrong, but the longer she talks to him, the more worried she gets.]

Alex, what the hell happened?

[ He almost twitches, he's so angry, and it's obvious that there's something right there on his tongue that he's trying to get out but that he can't quite seem to manage.

At the direct question, though, he screws up the courage, giving her a look and letting out a breath, before catching her gaze and holding it. ]

Did you know? About Naomi's sample? Did you know that she gave it to the Belt?

[Now Bobbie does frown, blinking before responding. It's clear she's not quite following.]

Yeah, I did. Why?

[ He clearly hadn't been expecting that answer, despite having asked - he was hoping for a 'what the hell are you talking about, Alex', and when he didn't get it, his face twisted, the anger and the hurt still just as sharp as when Naomi told him the first time. ]

God damn it, Bobbie. [ His voice is pretty low, though. ]

You didn't think that might be something I should damn well know? You tell me everythin' else, and leave out that?

What?

[She's utterly confused, but she crosses her arms instinctively at the tone in his voice.]

I thought you did know.

I thought we shot that thing into the god damned sun, like we agreed to do.

[ But rather than sound like the anger is directed at her, his head turns away, glaring off somewhere else.

He hadn't wanted to believe that Gunny would keep it from him. ]

But no, I'm just a god damned idjit who's been in the dark this whole god damned time.

Hey, Alex.

[She reaches for his hand automatically, then hesitates. Her fingers brush against his, but she doesn't complete the motion.]

You're not an idiot. When Holden told Chrisjen and I, he made it sound like all of you agreed.

[ He doesn't reach for her hand, folding his up under his arms instead, across his chest. He's too angry to be willing to be comforted, yet. ]

Great. So the cap knows, too? And Prax, I bet?

What the hell did they think Amos and I were gonna do, that they didn't trust us enough to even tell us?

I don't know why they didn't tell you.

[Maybe not comforting, but honest. She lets her hand fall back to her side.]

Naomi told you just now?

Couple hours ago. Me an' Amos.

After all the cryptic shit Ashford said on the network - how much do you wanna bet she woulda just kept on lyin' to us, if her hand hadn't been forced?

I'm sorry, Alex.

[She's not really sure what else to say.]

Are you angry because she gave the protomolecule to the Belt or because she lied to you?

Both. [ It was a heavy word, and he glared off into the distance, his chest clenching painfully. ]

I get - I get wanting to give it to the Belt. I do. I wanted to give it to Mars, before we - before all that shit happened. So I get the urge. But they talked me down, and they were right to do it, and she saw what happened with it--

[Bobbie lets out a breath, then reaches out to touch his shoulder gently.]

Yeah, it wasn't a great call. I'd wipe that shit from the system if I could, but we're all stuck with it. Chrisjen is trying to get a sample for Earth, and I'm sure someone from the OPA would have gotten their hands on it somehow. Are you more upset she lied to you about it?

Gettin' their hands on it is not the same as us givin' it to 'em. [ He pointed out, annoyed. But to the question he just looked uncomfortably away. ]

I don't get it, Gunny. What the hell did she think I was gonna do about it, to not even bother tellin' me when we've been trapped here for months...?

She thought you'd be pissed.

[That seems obvious enough to her.]

Maybe she was afraid it would destroy your friendship.

I am pissed. [ It takes a lot, to get him angry, but he's not going to deny that he is. ] I'm pissed as all hell.

She decided she knew better than any of the rest of us, told us she destroyed it when she didn't, and then lied about what she did with it for months. Of course I'm pissed.

And I - I don't know what to do about it.

[She knows he's pissed—she's never seen him this angry, but he's also hurt, and she thinks that might be the bigger thing. Bobbie reaches for his hand, taking it gently, and giving him enough wiggle room to pull away if he wants.]

You don't have to do anything yet. Give yourself a little time to process it.

[ He clicked his tongue, eyes dropping, but he let her take his hand, and honestly? It helped. ]

... Yeah. I guess. Not sure what in the hell I'm gonna come up with later that I ain't right now, but -

I ain't gonna make things worse, if I can help it.

[She shrugs, giving his hand a squeeze.]

Hey, you'd be surprised. Things might seem clearer when you've had time to calm down.

[ He clicked his tongue, gave her hand another squeeze, and let go. ]

We'll see. At the moment every time I start tryin' to think about it, I just make myself mad all over again.

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