Reverie: IC Inbox

[donkeyballs]

 

IC INBOX
text // voice // video


Alright, go ahead and leave me a message, an' I'll get back to you soon as I can.

Comments

[donkeyballs]

[ He gave her a look. ]

I didn't think it was a big enough deal to require a report. [ A little testily. ]

I've since been informed otherwise.

[marineris]

You say that like you wouldn't be upset if the situation was reversed. What if Amos or Naomi let some kid drink their blood and never told you?

[donkeyballs]

[ The guilty look on his face was enough to make it obvious that h hadn't actually thought about it like that. But he was still mad. ]

I sure as hell wouldn't barge into their room yellin' about "kinky shit".

[marineris]

What? Is that what he said?

[Admittedly, if Alex wasn't clearly so upset she'd find that kind of funny.]

[donkeyballs]

It was part of it. [ His voice is dark. Honestly, it wasn't even the part that bugged him, but again. That wasn't something he was willing to talk about. ]

I get that I made a mistake but I don't need t' be raked over the coals multiple times for it.

[marineris]

Hey, I'm not raking you over anything. Look, as far as I'm concerned, you can do what you want. If you want that kid to snack on you again, fine. I'm not going to be happy about it, but it's not like there's anything I can do.

[donkeyballs]

[ He doesn't say anything for a few seconds, still looking at the debt in the wall. Still with Amos' voice rattling around in his head. He didn't really get it. Maybe he was just stubborn. Or maybe he was too used to the fact that his crew was made of broken people - that he just hadn't thought any of them would be this honestly worried about him. Guilt twisted in his gut, his expression turning a little more miserable, as he wondered if that was why Amos had been there in the first place. Worried, with no way of showing it save anger. And he just fed anger right back into it.

God damn it.]

I'm just tryin' to help, Gunny. [ The fire was leaking out of his voice, replaced by a bone depth exhaustion. ]

An' I don't think that makes me an asshole.

[ Or a coward. Even if everything else did. ]

[marineris]

[The shift in tone is obvious, and Bobbie can't help but feel a sudden rush of sympathy for him.]

I never said you were an asshole either. I get it. You really care about people, even if they're complete strangers.

[Like her, she thinks. He'd reached out to her the second she stepped foot on the Roci, and he'd done the same thing here, even though he didn't remember her.]

I just... We just want you to take care of yourself, too.

[donkeyballs]

I'm fine.

[ Other than the emotional distress, anyway. The fights had taken far more of a toll on him than the actually blood loss had. ]

And I'll be fine. Promise.

[marineris]

[She nods, weighing that.]

I don't think I've ever seen you this upset before.

[Which might not be saying much, considering the short amount of time they've known each other, but she's trying to understand why Amos getting angry has made Alex this angry when he'd always struck her as the type to stay calm and mediate.]

[donkeyballs]

[ He lets a breath out through his nose, then drops his gaze and grunts a little. ]

Amos is like a brother to me. [Matter-of-factly] But damn if it don't mean he knows just how to press my buttons when he wants to.

He gets this - this idea in his head that I'm somethin' he needs to protect - as if I ain't perfectly capable of taking care of my own damn self and him.

[marineris]

[Yeah, that would drive her nuts, too. Bobbie thinks she gets it, even though she doesn't know Amos very well.]

Yeah? Why's that? Is he like that with everyone?

[donkeyballs]

[ He shook his head. ]

No. He certainly ain't like that with everyone. Pretty sure most people he don't even give a damn about. He just--

[ He rubbed at the back of his neck with his good hand. ]

Look, there's no point talkin' in the doorway. You might as well come in.

[marineris]

[Yeah, she might as well. Bobbie steps inside, slipping past him, and then just shoots him a curious look, waiting for him to continue.]

[donkeyballs]

[ He presses the button on the console and the door slides shut, before he turns away with a sigh and takes a seat on the edge of the bed. ]

He thinks there are three types of people. Bad people, who he ain't got any qualms about shooting; people you follow, like Naomi and Holden; and people you protect. Told me point blank, once, that I fell solidly into the final category. But I've saved his ass just as often as he's saved mine. Hell, I - I let 25 people die, just to save him. I thought we'd sorted that out already.

[marineris]

[She crosses her arms, head tilting as she considers that. It's easy to tell that something with Amos is... off. That "apology" to Alex with the flag is proof enough of that, but this is new insight she isn't expecting. Well... insight might be a stretch, honestly. Bobbie's not entirely sure how to take it.]

So you're sick of people coddling you, and Amos is the worst of the crew?

[That's what she's assuming, anyway, based on his reaction to her and Frank.]

[donkeyballs]

We should be equals. [ He mutters it, almost bitter, but there's a sadness to it, too. Because he thought they had been.

But the word coward rattled in his head again and he grimaced. ]

It's fine. I wouldn't be half so worked up about it if I had something to god damn do.

[marineris]

Cabin fever?

[She's feeling it too, but something tells her that isn't entirely what this is.]

Why does he think that way? Shuffling people into such narrow categories?

[donkeyballs]

[ He shrugged, helplessly. ]

Wish I knew. Think he just has a hard time figurin' things out, sometimes. He ain't stupid - trust me - he just...

[ He trails off, frowning at the ground. ]

I can't always follow it. The way he thinks. But other times, it's like - I know exactly where he is, and where he's comin' from, and I'm right there with him - but then suddenly something shifts and I have no idea where his head's at.

... Damn glad we found Prax, though. Think we might have lost 'im, otherwise.

[marineris]

[Bobbie's mind wasn't going towards stupid, more like... rigid. When Alex mentions Prax, though, it pulls her up short.]

Lost Amos?

[She frowns too, head tilting slightly. She hadn't had much chance to see Amos and Prax interact on the Roci, and she's had even less chance here.]

Why do you say that?

[donkeyballs]

[ He should his head, wondering at it. ]

Somethin' weird happened to him, when we're were docked at Tycho. Or he was just actin' real weird. A lot of shit went down but - it was almost like he was tryna... Lose himself in it, I guess.

[ A pause. ]

Then we got Prax, and it was like he started to give a shit again. Not - not just for Prax, though. For everybody.

[marineris]

So do you think it was Prax, or do you think it was something else?

[donkeyballs]

Well, I don't know. Things got a little crazy after that, so it could have been a lot of things. But still - -

I think it was Prax. Or I guess - or I guess Mei, maybe. Amos gave me shit about not bein' there for Mel-- for my family. Maybe Prax tryin' to find Mei meant somethin' to him.

[ He felt suddenly very uncomfortable in his own skin, the same way he always did when anything made him think about his family and the choices he'd made, when it came to them. Like he just wanted to squirm right into the floor and escape.

Hah. Escape.

God damn but he couldn't stand himself sometimes. He cleared his throat. ]

Anyway, whether it was Prax or not, who knows. But I think it was. He's a good man, and Amos takes to good people. Like Naomi and Holden.

[marineris]

[Bobbie just listens, absorbing that. She's not entirely sure what to say about his family. Really, she's not sure she knows the whole story, but first, she needs to correct something—]

And you. He's taken to you, too.

[Anyway.]

Saving a kid from something like that would mean something to anyone, yeah?

[donkeyballs]

[ He doesn't say anything to the correction. He wants to be a good man. He's trying to be a good man. But he didn't even try to save anyone on Eros and his family still think he died a hero.

Or they did. They did think he died a hero. He wished he knew exactly what had been said, when they found out he didn't. But he also didn't want to know at all.

He pushed the thought away hard, and focused on the second question, nodding. ]

Yeah. I mean, you'd think so. But there were kids on Eros same as there were on Ganymede, so I have no idea if that means that anyone really gives a shit anymore.

[ He was getting dark again, and he could feel it. The annoyance may be mostly gone, but everything else was still hanging heavy over him. ]