Reverie: IC Inbox

[donkeyballs]

 

IC INBOX
text // voice // video


Alright, go ahead and leave me a message, an' I'll get back to you soon as I can.

Comments

[donkeyballs]

yeah

just ain't compatible with bein' a father



if i'd been able to be his dad when he needed me too, i ain't never would have ended up on the cant

i was a shit father, gunny




maybe she ended up findin him a better one

[marineris]

hey, listen to me.
maybe you screwed up, but you love him. that's more than a lot of kids can say about their fathers.
everyone makes mistakes. sometimes things don't work out the way we plan. at least you want to make it right.

[donkeyballs]

only way to make it right is to go back

and even if i could

it wouldn't work
she's got every right to be pissed as hell, but i just ain't never gonna be what they need

i never was

[marineris]

forget about talissa for a minute. what about melas?
say we figure out a way back. you don't think you could make it right with him?

[donkeyballs]

If your dad ran off when you were barely old enough to remember him, you think he could ever make that right?

[marineris]

yeah, i do.
it would take work, but you're not a monster, alex.

[donkeyballs]

[ There is no reply, for a long time.

Until finally: ]

i don't know what to do if he's dead, gunny

I just don't know.

[marineris]

[God, he's breaking her heart.]

where are you?

[donkeyballs]

bar

[marineris]

stay there.

[Bobbie heads down as quickly as she can, spotting him easily enough. She joins him at the bar, giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze as she does, her voice soft.]

Hey.

[donkeyballs]

[ He's already a few cups in, when she gets there, and there's a very real sense of shame that comes with her finding him, but he hadn't moved. Hadn't attempted to disobey. He barely raises his eyes when they fall back to his glass. ]

Hey.

[marineris]

[It's a good thing he didn't leave—she's worried about him, and the concern is obvious in her voice.]

I'm so sorry, Alex.

[donkeyballs]

[ The emotion chokes in his throat, and he can't reply for a few seconds, even if he knew how the hell to reply in the first place. Instead, his head sinks a little, and he stares down into his cup. ]

... Sorry, Gunny. Thought I'd - thought I'd hold up better than this.

[marineris]

[Bobbie lets out a breath, hand still on his shoulder.]

Hey, you don't have to hold up. Not after that.

[donkeyballs]

Yeah, I do.

[ He slumps, the weight of his shoulder pressing into her hand. ]

We all knew we were... The likelihood of us bein' close - time wise or space wise... We always knew it wasn't gonna be...

[marineris]

I know.

[She rubs his shoulder gently.]

But it's different to know for sure.

[donkeyballs]

... Yeah. [ Heavily. ]

Yeah, it is.

[ He looked like he wanted to say something more after that, but the words failed him, and instead he just looked miserable as he poured himself another drink. ]

[marineris]

[Yeah, that was pretty obvious. Bobbie studies him for a moment, waiting for him to spit it out, but he doesn't.]

What? You were going to say something.

[donkeyballs]

I just - I still don't know for sure, right? It's just like this - extra proof to the worst but it ain't solid. 'Cause I already figured... I already figured this couldn't be our universe.

Hell, you and I are the only two on the whole damn rust bucket who have even been to Mars.

This can't be our universe anyway, right?

[marineris]

Clara and Wash said they'd seen Mars colonized, but their versions were... Different.

[Which she's still trying to wrap her head around.]

Maybe you're right. Maybe we're in a different reality altogether.

[donkeyballs]

Or maybe this ain't a reality at all, we're just - all in a computer, or somethin'--

[ Thanks Clara. Thanks Daisy. But it's obvious he's just reaching for straws. ]

[marineris]

Is that what you're hoping for?

[donkeyballs]

I don't know, Gunny. I just -

I know I ain't even gonna be there, you know? But that don't mean I never wanted to see them again, or - or talk to 'em again, or --

[ He swallowed, gripping his glass tightly. ]

[marineris]

I know.

[Bobbie sighs, letting her hand drop from his shoulder.]

We don't know how any of this works. There's still a chance you'll see them again.

[donkeyballs]

[ His throat was tight and his eyes were hot but god dammit he was not gonna let this get the better of him. So he waited a few seconds until he knew his voice wasn't going to sound watery. ]

... At what point do we just... assume the worst? Because hell, I don't know how long I can keep just - half way grievin' and half way hopin'.